Sober Companion Diaries #1

It’s 6:30 am in an apartment in Etobicoke, a city not far from Toronto. 

I am about 10 days into a 2 week contract with a client (or recoveree). My normal contracts are usually 7 or 8 days on average, so this one has required me to really commit to self care to be present for my recoveree.

The more I do this, the more I truly believe this work is not for everyone. Sober Companions are 24/7 live-in supports to help clients with the transition back to “real life” in whatever that means for them. The move from addiction to recovery can be harsh, especially when it involves a discharge from Treatment, Detox, or some sort of residential support. People go through a lot of grueling work in a safe space. You can make a mistake, like an outburst or breakdown, and have the safety net of a team of professionals giving you the ability to work through it.

Anything can happen and we need to be ready as sober companions…

As a Sober Companion, and specifically for this contract, I am meant to be a little more hands off than usual. More to watch at first a be there in case a big “fall” was going to happen. In a lot of helping fields, we’re intended to problem solve, intervene, or direct. Those types of services hold an important role in equipping clients with direction.

There is some merit in letting someone experience and “feel out” whatever it is they are going through. Trying to balance family and recovery, making appointments client’s previously used to skip, cooking, cleaning, a better sleep cycle, the list is endless. 

My role comes in when a problem arises. I am there to get curious.

“What’s coming up when we’re dealing with this?”

“What’s the lesson here?”

“Who’s in your corner?”

These questions start the journey of going deeper. We can start getting specific about what is and could help us move forward. 

I know these questions are getting on my client’s nerves. But he gets it. He knows he needs it because it’s not quite a habit for him, and he wants it to be. So we keep going. 

I think people can unfairly assume that things change quickly, especially after painstaking work in treatment, but it is a progression. Just as addiction can progress, the path of recovery is equally so.

So, I’ll need a coffee before my recoveree wakes up.